Not-so-tempered Steel

First, some quirky background music to set the mood.



Figured I'd pop in briefly and say that I've been thinking about it.

'Thinking about what?' you might ask.

My temper.

Permit me the dignity of an explanation. I don't always let it on to others, but for someone who may or may not have mental issues (the situation's murky where that's concerned, has been since the 90's), there's a lot going on upstairs. I've never really looked at the world the same way everyone else does. What makes sense to me doesn't make sense to others, and vice versa. I like stuff that the majority of people hate, and vice versa. I despise stuff that people find acceptable, and so on and so forth. And when I read or see stuff that I hate---for example, cars cutting in front of each other at intersections because the drivers are too eager to make turns---then I have to put the clamps on my anger FAST before I say something I end up regretting later.

It's been like this pretty much my entire adult life (it certainly didn't happen before I turned 5, I can tell you that). Over time I've learned to obey my gut instinct about when to speak up and when to keep my trap shut. Make fun of it if you must, but it's always been spot-on when it comes to things that I really ought not to talk about or otherwise get involved in. Especially after signing up here at Everypony: LostSanity and the-Aku-formerly-known-as-Ridley's shenanigans, the whole fuss over ex-President Trump running for office, certain people's fetishes, just to name a few. Most days I like to think I'm pretty good about just not commenting about something, or trying to find something about a situation that's funny, or drowning my anger in funny YouTube videos. Or at the very least, not expressing the depths of my thoughts; I know some here wouldn't appreciate me going overly "moralistic" or "conservative" on them.

(Or even "prudish"; I can admit that. Callista's personality came from somewhere, after all. >^_^< )

But on days when I ignore my gut instinct for any reason, the situation always goes south for me. And when it does I tend to dwell on my anger for days, weeks, sometimes even months, which I really can't afford with my health being as flaky as it is (I don't know if I'm at risk for heart attacks or not, but I'm not taking any chances). Like with what happened recently; I suspected that I was going to regret saying anything about that particular picture of Rainbow Dash, but I went right ahead, spoke my mind and didn't sugarcoat my words. And then I ended up getting mad when it was most likely uncalled for, leading to my present state of mind.

(Actually, It would be more accurate to say that I DID sugarcoat my words. Just... not in the form you might've expected.)



I guess what I'm trying to say with all this is that to anyone who was offended, annoyed, or otherwise confused by my comments, I apologize. Wasn't one of my prouder moments by any means, and I realize I could've stood to be more calm and tactful.

I think I've cooled off a little bit, but just to be on the safe side I'm going to take another sanctioned break not just from EP, but from forums in general. Catch up on my reading, try to lose a few pounds, work on some fanfiction, figure out just what I'm going to record for my next playthrough, that sort of thing. Whether it takes weeks, months or whatever, I'll be back another day. As I've stated before, I'm stubborn enough not to quit this place altogether.

Now let me try this again: ciao mein, everyone. There, that's better.

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P.S. - I stand by what I said about the piercing, though. You're not changing my mind about that.