I can't stand keeping this secret any longer...

I know that I lightly mentioned a dark side to me but... I never clarified what it can do or what needed to happen to trigger it. It's my own fault for not mentioning it since I didn't think I'd need to worry about it coming up... that was wishful thinking, but unfortunately, pretty recently, the darker part of me did somewhat come out.

I'm not going to bring up the topic it happened in, for the sake of not bring up more drama, but it's because my protective instincts kicked in, that I ended up getting very aggressive. The thing is, this darker self is triggered through negative attacks or in general attacks. Even if a action isn't, sometimes my mind can perceive it as an attack. If I am attacked, or perceiving an attack, my mind set changes to a more violent one and I can have a sudden emotional high. This is when I feel like I must defend myself and any others who maybe attacked. I am sincerely sorry if you encounter that with me, but it's sometimes something that can get out of my control, especially if I reach the level of blood rage.

And if I can explain what I mean by Blood Rage, I like to call it my point of no return. This is when my emotion high reaches a breaking point and I no long have control of my baser instincts. I go into a blind rage and start attacking anything that merely looks at me funny. Until the adrenaline in my system stops coursing, I will look to try to punch someone or something. I typically only can get enough control to divert the punch to hit a wall before I harm someone but it does end up being a scary experience for the former attacker, now victim. And in some cases, even for me. Depending on how bad my blood rage gets, I sometimes will have a brief moment of depression. This is because truthfully, I do fear that I will hurt someone. I don't like hurting people, but when they push me it is in someway, their own fault for pushing me and getting hurt or injured.

I just felt like I need to explain this... It really hurts me when I reach these points but it serves to tell you guys before I get another one of these moments. It's even worse in person with me. I don't blood rage online too often, thankfully.

This is just to serve as a friendly warning that I can get... unstable.