Worst Thing I Have Ever Done

So a couple days ago, my aunt was in town for a visit. I should preface this by saying this woman likes to drink. Like, if you've seen me start downing drinks, you know I can outdrink near anyone here, but this woman can outdrink me.

Anyway. After a while, she has me go down to the liquor store to buy her a 12-pack of her favorite beer, Miller Lite. She knocks it out in under a half hour.

She sent me back out to get her a bottle of Jack, which she killed in like an hour and a half. Woman was barely even buzzed. Drinks alcohol like it's water on a daily basis, so I guess it makes sense, but damn, she shouldn't even have a liver left, drinking like that.

This pattern continued for about six more trips, until finally I snapped, "Holy *squee!*, what more do you need?!"

She looked me dead in the eye, stone-faced, and replied, "I need about tree fiddy."

Well, it was about that time I noticed my aunt was about eight stories tall, and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era! God damn Loch Ness Monster got me again!