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I chat with people around the apartment complex, and get some pretty interesting or funny stories. I've shared mine with them and they find them hilarious. So today, I wish to share one of theirs: This old man, maybe 69(?) was sitting on a bench and I decided to take a break as well. I tell him about that girlfriend story, and he laughs, and when I ask him if he has anything funny to tell, I get the story about how he went fishing and caught a bear. He had gone salmon fishing, and brought his rod with him. Then said that he cast out his line and hooked a big salmon on the hook. But a bear came out and got a hold of it, pulled up on the rod and I suppose he hooked it too. When he realized what happened, he threw his rod and said this: "You can have it!" I could not help myself we just both laughed it up, though It's hard to believe that happened, but I don't doubt it either.
Our entire family went down south to our relative, Buddy's house, he has a privately owned lake to fish in. We all brought our own gear, and sat in our own spots as usual. I was hoping to get a big one of the bass, but normally get the small mouths. My brother was on the other end of the pond, and cast his line in. We used worms as they were more likely to bite. I get a bite and reel in a large bass, my friend Josh caught a Carp(not an official game fish), and next thing we all know, my brother gets a bite on his own line. When we pulled in his line, instead of a bass, he had caught a painted turtle on it. All of us just lost it and burst into laughter at his expense. None of us knew there were any in the lake at all, the only one who did was Buddy himself(most likely to surprise us, I suppose). But for the rest of the evening we hadn't seen another one since, hopefully this will be the last time it happens.
Have you ever had those moments where your relatives and family pester you to have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Well i did, and here's how it went: I had just come home from visiting a friend in Riverview, MI. And i find everyone at the table and looking at me like something was wrong. So I ask, "Why are you looking at me like that?" to which my Aunt Katie replies, "Why don't you have a girlfriend yet? You can't be alone forever." I'm just a bit annoyed by this, as this was my choice, not theirs. I understood the concern, but I just never was one to have one. I reply, "Because I don't want one." Then in comes my uncle and he says, "Don't be such a sissy, your brother has one and he's just fine." I'm trying not to say a retort to that, and remain silent. Its hard enough that I have no luck at all with them, so I usually just gave up. My brother says to me, "What's the matter, you scared?" I had a hard time not laughing at this, but kept it back. With everyone still watching for how i reply, i say this sarcastically, "Why no, Dan, the girls just love me!" my mother knows when i'm being that way, so she keeps out of it. But my uncle decides to say this to me, "Then why don't you just do it already." Hitting my limit, I unintentionally retorted: "Alright, Cary, If you want me to get one so badly, how about we go to bar. You sit on one of the bar stools and every time i get shot down, you take a shot of the strongest stuff they have. And if you pass out, i leave you to pay the tab." My whole family erupted in laughter at my response, i couldn't help but laugh at what i had just said out of nowhere. I never come up with good retorts on purpose, that one just slipped out.
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son..... "Go get your Mother."
A husband and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
So Hi Hi Hi! This happiness Sings out with a Hi Hi Hi! My heart dances in this sparkling season This pounding in my heart is the first sign Just brushing it off makes me feel funny There's a bewildering melody to my excitement I want a chance to call out to you After school I ran into you by chance Could this change our future? Tell me! Tell me please! Hi! Hi! Hi! That happiness Hi! Hi! Hi! Surrounds you and me Gets me and fills everything with joy So Hi! Hi! Hi! This happiness Sings out with a Hi! Hi! Hi! My heart dances in this sparkling season Future * Future * To the future! Thrill chasing is fun today My heart that you swell with hope and smiles overflows Everyday embraces an important sparkle Any challenge to find love would wonder if I am able to do so as well At the moment when my way home lined up with the breeze Could this be the future starting with you and me? Tell me! Come on tell me! Dreams in this place Hi Hi Hi! It's born Hi Hi Hi! Gently It can not be said in shame but I liked it even if I take it So in this place Hi Hi Hi! Hi Hi Hi! I want to tell softly What would we be now? I want to know more and more about you Future * Future * And the future! After school I ran into you by chance Could this change our future? Tell me! Tell me please! Hi! Hi! Hi! That happiness Hi! Hi! Hi! Surrounds you and me Gets me and fills everything with joy So Hi! Hi! Hi! This happiness Sings out with a Hi! Hi! Hi! My heart dances in this sparkling season Future * Future * To the future! A dream Hi Hi Hi!
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"
I've spent 29 years of my life trying to make people happy and laugh, which to some extent I have accomplished. But when it comes to myself, i'm never as happy as you guys might be. My channel is the only thing I've got that has any significance to me, and yet my life just feels as if its going nowhere fast. Put me in a situation where I have to confront someone, and I end up screwing it up big time. If you look at it now, i'm just shut away in my room, only coming out if I feel I have to or am forced to. I can't motivate myself to go out anymore, my best friend left me for better things. I learned to practice smiling when I'm feeling sad, ya know? I don't want to worry my mother who is 75 years old now, and can't even do much to help herself; i'm stuck doing most of it. Don't get me wrong, I feel better helping her, but with her getting worse by the day, it makes me sad to know she won't be around much longer. She's the only one who truly understands how I feel. Its painful to try and talk with her, as she can barely hear me at all anymore. It used to be fun being around her all the time, now it seems we never speak to each other anymore. I want to be able to go back to those days when we were both happy, laughing, and going out to different places. Now I just don't say anything unless it really needed to be said. When she passes, i'll be all alone then; left with no purpose in my life. All it seems i'm good for now is just nothing, left to wonder how I'm going to cope with her being gone. I failed in my own life, I just see nothing that I've done to make up for it. I can't live on my own, much less hold a job for more than three days. I just feel useless...
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it, and it suddenly sucked again.
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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.
Here is the now completed version of the luna video i promised.
I have uploaded a preview of my luna theme on my channel if interested, pleae visit my first blog for the channel link.
I've run out of good works to use as the images for them, so i'm put the series on hiatus until something comes up that i can use. Sorry to all those who enjoyed it, but i really need to focus on other projects too.
